A Book Club that Survives the Busy Years

I’ve been in a book club for 11 years. While a few moved away or dropped off, most of the players have stayed the same since we started it in our mid 20s. Throughout these years, we’ve all been through a lot, celebrating marriages, babies, new jobs and promotions, but also comforting each other after death, divorce and a myriad of other personal struggles.

Our book club has read a lot some years and not so much other years. We used to have lengthy debates about the books hitting heated topics like politics and religion, but these were soon replaced by comparing notes on sleep training and bad bosses, and now discussions about our kids’ school and career plans.

In order for our book club to survive some of the busiest years of our lives with our kids and jobs, it needed to evolve. Based on this experience, I’ve put together some tips for keeping a book club alive:

Mix up the frequency – When you have a busy schedule due to kids and work, meeting every month doesn’t always work. The past two years of our book club we’ve started meeting every other month. Not only does this give you more time to read, it also ensures more of the group will try to make it to each ‘meeting’ since they occur less often.

Change the time/place - If you’ve always met the last Thursday of the month, check in every once in a while to make sure this day is still working for everyone. Also if you’ve been hosting at people’s homes, take a year to meet at restaurants or bars. When you work long hours it can be tough to pull off hosting duties or if you have three kids who will be wakened by a lively discussion, it can be best to stay out of the house.

Create a no pressure atmosphere – We all join book clubs because we like to read and want to read. But sometimes, life is simply too busy to get the chance to read. The last thing anyone needs is to feel bad or guilty about that. There’s still a lot the group can talk about related to the book without giving the ending away. If you’re the leader, think about the book’s themes that can be discussed by those who either read or not. As one of my friends said at the last book club who has a huge job and three little kids, “I love that this is a no pressure book club. That’s all I can handle right now.” Sometimes you’re in a reading groove and sometimes you’re not – but you should always feel welcome at your book club.

Don’t even pick a book! – For those crazy years when everyone is just doing their best to keep afloat, forgo the book altogether. My book club had a year when we just chose articles or short stories and talked about those. And these were some of the best conversations! Or, just get together, catch up and don’t sweat it. Once things calm down for everyone, you can revive the group’s book selections.

For me, even if I'm really busy, I love keeping the book club going. Sometimes I find the time to read even when I thought I couldn't, brainstorming titles keeps me updated on current books, and when we do talk about a book, I love hearing what others think. Based on our history, I know we have years of reading and discussions to come, so I'm glad we've been able to maintain it over these crazy years. Discussion or not, it's great getting together regularly and that may not have happened if it wasn't a regularly scheduled "book club." We've built some amazing friendships for more than a decade as a result of keeping it going.

I’d love to hear any other tips you have for staying in a book club even when your plate is full!